Dalai Lama

The Dalai Lama, when asked what surprised him most about humanity, answered:

"Man. Because he sacrifices his health in order to make money. Then he sacrifices money to recuperate his health. And then he is so anxious about the future that he does not enjoy the present; the result being that he does not live in the present or the future; he lives as if he is never going to die, and then dies having never really lived."

Very Best Friends

One of the main reason of Marley is going to preschool is for the social benefits. The kid is a genius. I realize that everyone says that about their own kid, but I really mean it. She has been gifted with an amazing memory and can memorize most everything almost instantly. That being said, socially the kid is just plain awkward. She isn't too afraid to talk to people but she really needs to talk with more children than adults. She has always been the oldest or only kid in the family. Everyday that she goes to preschool I tell her to talk with someone new and to remember to play with all the kids. Today I had the pleasure of taking her friend Gwen to school because her mom couldn't. Listening to them talk on the ten minute ride to school was hilarious. Marley was talking a mile a minute and Gwen had no idea what she was saying.

After their detailed conversation, Marley looks at Gwen and said, "Will you be my best friend?" Gwen replies "Do you really want me to be?"

Marley said, "I really do!" "Ok" said Gwen, "then we are best friends!!"

Apparently it is that simple. They held hands as they walked into school and they are now the very best of friends.

Friendship

"Sometimes we expect more from others because we would be willing to do that much for them."

Funny Story

I picked up Marley from preschool on Friday and we were talked about our normal stuff on the ride home. How school was, what she learned, who she played with… you know, the usual. As we began to drive home she asked what school she would go to next. I explained that she would go to elementary school like her friend Natatlie, then middle school like her cousin Logan, then high school like her cousin Sierra, and then college like her cousin Tawni. She was really excited because she loves school so much and can't wait to se what's next. She asked what was next after college. I told her that she gets to do whatever she wants. She could get a job, get married, she would live in her own house, and so on. She immediately asked if her sister Quinny would be leaving with her. I said probably not because Quinny would still be in school, but you never know. Her eyes started to fill with tears and she anxiously squeaked, “...But I can’t live without you, Dada, and Quinny!”

She started to have full on panic attack about how she couldn’t live alone. What if her new house didn’t have a night light? How could she possibly sleep without sharing a room with her sister?. I turned around with tears in my eyes (luckily I had sunglasses on) and I told her that she could live with us forever and ever! She would never have to move out. She of course agreed and said she would never ever ever leave Mama, Dada, and Quinn. It was pretty much the cutest thing ever and I going to hold her to that agreement.

Happy

“Generally speaking, the most miserable people I know are those who are obsessed with themselves; the happiest people I know are those who lose themselves in the service of others… By and large, I have come to see that if we complain about life, it is because we are thinking only of ourselves."

-Gordon B. Hinckle

Big Fan

“It is an unfortunate human failing that a full pocketbook often groans more loudly than an empty stomach."

-Franklin D. Roosevelt

Truth

“We’re all going to die, all of us, what a circus! That alone should make us love each other but it doesn’t. We are terrorized and flattened by trivialities, we are eaten up by nothing."

Charles Bukowski

Safe

“Quite often, without awareness, we come to feel that perfectly safe ventures, feelings, explorations, relationships, etc., are unsafe, only because they are unfamiliar or different, and because we haven’t experienced them.
Very often we will stick with something truly destructive and unsafe only because it is familiar, because we have experienced it; it represents a status quo — no taking a chance situation."

Theodore Isaac Rubin, The Winner’s Notebook, 1967

Disgusting

“At around 9:00 a.m. on May 5, 2011, officers with the Pima County, Arizona, Sheriff’s Department’s Special Weapons and Tactics (S.W.A.T.) team surrounded the home of 26-year-old José Guerena, a former U.S. Marine and veteran of two tours of duty in Iraq, to serve a search warrant for narcotics. As the officers approached, Guerena lay sleeping in his bedroom after working the graveyard shift at a local mine. When his wife Vanessa woke him up, screaming that she had seen a man outside the window pointing a gun at her, Guerena grabbed his AR-15 rifle, instructed Vanessa to hide in the closet with their four-year old son, and left the bedroom to investigate. Within moments, and without Guerena firing a shot—or even switching his rifle off of “safety”—he lay dying, his body riddled with 60 bullets. A subsequent investigation revealed that the initial shot that prompted the S.W.A.T. team barrage came from a S.W.A.T. team gun, not Guerena’s. Guerena, reports later revealed, had no criminal record, and no narcotics were found at his home."

Cops With Machine Guns: How the War on Terror Has Militarized the Police - The Atlantic

Just in case you’re not furious yet, here’s the official verdict from Pima County Attorney Barbara LaWall:

Under the circumstances, and based upon our review of all the available evidence, we have concluded that the use of deadly forces by the SWAT Team members was reasonable and justified under the law. Accordingly, the Pima County Attorney’s Office finds no basis to prosecute.


This is sickening. When did our "war" on drugs become an actual war?!

Insight

Most consider me to be a controlling person. A label that I, of course, have always resented :) Over the past few years, I have made a conscience effort to curb my controlling tendencies. I know that I can’t control other people’s lives; I can only control my own. And I have recently come to another revelation: I hold people to an impossible standard. If I email you and you don’t email me back, I automatically assume that you’re mad at me, which usually isn't the case — everybody leads busy lives with their work or family and I can't expect to take top billing. Texting gets to me as well. If I send you a text, its safe to assume that we are friends, and I usually expect a text back. I think that a courtesy reply is the least that one could do. I do these things, so I expect them in return; but I have to realize that not everybody is like me. I don’t like letting people down — if I say that I am going to do something, I go out of my way to make it happen. I try and do my best for other people. I treat friends and people the way I want to be treated, but that doesn't mean that others share the same philosophy. (This is where the controlling part of me starts to take over) Why don’t people want to cook me dinner? Why doesn’t someone take the time to text me back? I have to let this part of me go. I have to realize that just because someone doesn’t do something for me, it doesn’t mean they are a bad person. Everybody has different personalities and beliefs when it comes to "paying it forward". I need to let things go. I'm going to strive to be the best (and least controlling) person that I can be and let others decide how they want to live their lives — even if we have different views of what that should be.

We Never Change

I wanna live life and never be cruel.
I wanna live life and be good to you.
And I wanna fly and never come down.
And live my life and have friends around.
We never change, do we? no, no
We never learn, do we?
So I wanna live in a wooden house.
I wanna live life and always be true.
I wanna live life and be good to you.
And I wanna fly and never come down.
And live my life and have friends around.
We never change, do we? No, no
We never learn, do we?
So I wanna live in a wooden house,
where making more friends would be easy.
Oh, and I don´t have a soul to save.
Yes, and I sin every single day.
We never change, do we?
We never learn, do we?
So I wanna live in a wooden house,
Where making more friends would be easy.
I wanna live where the sun comes out.

-Coldplay

This song never get old.

Love

“I don’t think that I’ve been in love as such,
Although I liked a few folk pretty well.
Love must be vaster than my smiles or touch,
For brave men died and empires rose and fell
For love: girls followed boys to foreign lands
And men have followed women into Hell.
In plays and poems someone understands
There’s something makes us more than blood and bone
And more than biological demands…
For me, love’s like the wind, unseen, unknown.
I see the trees are bending where it’s been,
I know that it leaves wreckage where it’s blown.
I really don’t know what ‘I love you’ means.
I think it means ‘Don’t leave me here alone.’"

Sonnet, Neil Gaiman

The best

This might offend some people, but I love this...

“If being gay is a choice, show us the proof. Choose it. Choose to be gay yourself. Show America how that’s done, Herman, show us how a man can choose to be gay. Suck my dick, Herman. Name the time and the place and I’ll bring my dick and a camera crew and you can suck me off and win the argument."

-- Dan Savage (responding to Herman Cain’s statement that being gay is a choice)

Friends

The majority of my readers know me in outside of my blog. They are primarily friends or family. Three years ago, Jason and I made the difficult decision to move our family from Indiana to Illinois. This move was the hardest most trying time in our relationship. I was miserable. I hated living in Illinois. I was driving home to Indy at least once, if not twice, per month. I hated leaving my friends and family.

I have always had a problem meeting new people. I am not a fan of change. My “home” friends have been my friends for over 10 years, some for 15 or more. They know me and they love me for who I am. I am not the easiest person to be friends with – I can be vulgar, loud, immature, controlling, but I’m also a great listener, open-mined, loyal, caring, and nurturing. I have always expected a lot from my friends.

Finally, after living in this “hell hole” for three years, I have met a group of people that makes me feel like I belong here. They are amazing. I can be my normal dick-and-fart joke self without being judged. I can randomly buy fake moustaches, suggest that we wear them out to the bar, and they go for it with no hesitation.

Jen and Abby are the two that have welcomed me the most. I can barely go a day without seeing one of them. They are some of the funniest, caring, vulgar people I have ever met. It’s like we are all the same person. We have the type of friendship that doesn’t take work. It is effortless, it seems like we have known each other for years. I hope they feel the same way, because they are stuck with me now!

Joy

Comparison is the thief of joy.

This is one of my favorite quotes. I don’t know who said it, but I repeat it to myself daily. I am unbelievably lucky to be a stay at home mom. When Marley was born it wasn’t even questioned — I stayed home. I have enjoyed every single moment. Don’t get me wrong, it is hard as heck and stressful, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. I get to spend every day with my beautiful girls.

That being said, I am human. I sometimes find myself getting jealous of what other people have. I think what Jason and I could have if we were a two income family. A bigger house, nicer cars, fancy vacations, and so on. I think that it is natural for people to feel this way, but usually I feel like a complete ass for doing so. I try to remember to be thankful for what I have. I have a husband that works his butt off to give his ladies everything we want.

Comparison is the thief of joy.

I am sick of comparing myself to others. I am sick of looking past all of the joy in my life because I want more material things. Not anymore, I am making a conscience effort to be happy with what I have and be happy for what others have. I get to spend all day every day with my smart, beautiful daughters... and that is my joy.

More on Planned Parenthood

Here is an excerpt from a great Washington Post article:

"Let's be clear about one thing. Almost none of this money went for abortions. The only federal funding for abortion involves the thankfully low number of situations in which poor women seek abortions for pregnancy due to rape or incest, or when their own lives are in jeopardy. In 2006, the last year for which figures are available, the federal government paid for 191 such abortions, according to the Guttmacher Institute.

However, the House cuts are intended to punish abortion providers - specifically, Planned Parenthood, which is simultaneously the largest recipient of federal family planning funds and the largest abortion provider in the country.

Federal law requires Planned Parenthood to carefully separate its abortion expenses from its others. In most instances, abortions are performed in a different building or on a different floor, by different staff. That is not enough to satisfy abortion opponents, who insist that the federal money frees up other funds to underwrite abortions."

Read the rest of the article here

Planned Parenthood

The U.S. House of Representatives has just voted to bar Planned Parenthood health centers from all federal funding for birth control, cancer screenings, HIV testing, and other lifesaving care.

I stand with Planned Parenthood. Sign this petition if you do too.

Services Planned Parenthood provides:

• 36% – Birth control services
• 31% – Testing and treatment for STD’s
• 17% – Cancer screening and Prevention
• 11% – Other woman’s health services (Pap’s, LEEP procedures, etc.)
• 3% – Abortion Services

Christmas Home Show

One of the reasons I have been so absent from blogger is that I was helping Jason’s Aunt Kim decorate her house for the Christmas home tour. Kim and I workout together and she has become more like a friend to me than a relative. Decorating her house was like a dream come true. She has a 5,000sq ft home – I got to decorate it from floor to ceiling. On the main floor I did tons of handmade garlands, fresh handmade door swags, and more. Every room was decorated. On the second floor, we made monogrammed fresh door swags for each bedroom door, along with trees and bathroom décor in each bathroom. In the basement I made handmade garlands, and decorated her mantle with a more contemporary look. I loved doing all of it. It was a lot of work, but like I said, it was a dream. I love to decorate, now only if I could get paid to do it! Here are some pictures, enjoy!

Sierra's room

Tawni's Room

Mike and Kim's Room

Logan's Room - I even put a tree in his lizards cage!

Basement

Mike's Office

Dining Room

Dining Room

Wish Tree

Family Room

Fake scrabble game

Handmade garland in the kitchen

Fresh swags for the kids cubby's