Insight

Most consider me to be a controlling person. A label that I, of course, have always resented :) Over the past few years, I have made a conscience effort to curb my controlling tendencies. I know that I can’t control other people’s lives; I can only control my own. And I have recently come to another revelation: I hold people to an impossible standard. If I email you and you don’t email me back, I automatically assume that you’re mad at me, which usually isn't the case — everybody leads busy lives with their work or family and I can't expect to take top billing. Texting gets to me as well. If I send you a text, its safe to assume that we are friends, and I usually expect a text back. I think that a courtesy reply is the least that one could do. I do these things, so I expect them in return; but I have to realize that not everybody is like me. I don’t like letting people down — if I say that I am going to do something, I go out of my way to make it happen. I try and do my best for other people. I treat friends and people the way I want to be treated, but that doesn't mean that others share the same philosophy. (This is where the controlling part of me starts to take over) Why don’t people want to cook me dinner? Why doesn’t someone take the time to text me back? I have to let this part of me go. I have to realize that just because someone doesn’t do something for me, it doesn’t mean they are a bad person. Everybody has different personalities and beliefs when it comes to "paying it forward". I need to let things go. I'm going to strive to be the best (and least controlling) person that I can be and let others decide how they want to live their lives — even if we have different views of what that should be.